Saturday, June 02, 2007

Blah (Mood series)

The swing is gone. For now. This music better matches my mood this morning. For the record, it's Nirvana's "Something in the way".

Am I spending too much time on the Internet?

There was drama on my mommy board yesterday. A debate thread on the topic of adoption devolved into nasty name calling and cursing. One of the people involved took offense to someone's opinion. An opinion that may have been stated in better terms than she did, but a general opinion nevertheless, not directed to anyone in particular. The person who got offended is in a sensitive situation right now, because of fertility issues, and her reaction was completely out of proportion. Which is usually a sign that a lot more was going on in her head/heart than what the debate was about. Like someone said to me, it was literally like watching someone have a complete breakdown, post by post.

This whole thing is very unfortunate, and it comes on the heels of another incident between members that happened recently. Our board was founded on the premise that we were all responsible adults who could monitor ourselves, so we are very flexible and don't have strict rules. I feel like this incident has laid bare one of the weak points of that approach. To me the board should be a safe haven for all of us, and yesterday's incident is making me feel skeptical about the longevity of our current group. People are leaving, or taking breaks. Feelings are hurt. Everybody is asking "how do we move on?" I wish I knew, but this morning, right now, I am not very optimistic about the whole thing.

And frankly, I am angry. Angry that our board was highjacked by such ugliness. I don't care what are the reasons why people blew up the way they did. I think after a certain point, people need to wash their dirty laundry through more private methods (private messages, e-mail, phone calls) rather than exposing the complete group to it and threaten the stability of the board. That's my opinion and I am sticking to it!


  1. I am really sad to hear that the board is having trouble. It bring back really sad memories for me. You are right, it isn't fair that drama invades these wonderful mama boards. I am not sure there is a sure fire way to prevent it,but I hope that the healing starts soon!
    hugs for you!

  2. I'm sure it will all blow over. It usually does. I hope the person who had the breakdown (I won't mention names here) will seek some help for this.

  3. Hugs... You gotta love women! Great job in your role, Ingrid... noy an easy challenge, but you handled it beautifully!

  4. I hear you. I'm really upset too. And I frankly don't want it to blow over. I want people to apologize publicly and I want it talked out. I also want people to open their minds and accept the apologies. One person has tried to apologize and was very upset that her post took a negative spin, when that's not what she meant. But, no one is up to forgiving her. That makes me sad. It's like people are digging their heels in and aren't going to be swayed. And people are taking side.
    Sorry, guess I vented here!

  5. I hear you, Lori. I believe I know who you mean, and she is a good person too. What was meant to be funny was taken the wrong way.

  6. I know I am not over there...but I want to offer more hugs. It really sounds frustrating. I am sorry. I hope things work out. I know it isn't easy when several women all have different ideas as to what needs to happen. Dang it.
    Hugs for you all!