Thursday, September 13, 2007

Fiction Friday- Household objects

This Week’s Challenge
[Fiction] Friday Challenge for September, 14 2007:
Write a story, poem, or essay from the point of view of an inanimate object.

The table says:

I feel lonely sometimes. My humans don't use me as often as they should. They are always off doing something. They are always too busy or too scattered over the place to spend time together with me. They like to eat out, or they eat all over the house, in front of the TV, at the computer, standing up, sometimes even in bed. Those crazy humans.

When they do get together, when they make one of those nice and big family meals and gather around me to partake of the feast, it's all worth the wait. They eat, they drink, they talk and are merry. Their souls reach out to each other and I am so happy to be there for them.

I am the heart of this home. The TV may be louder and more prominent. The computer may get more attention on a day-to-day basis. But in the end, it is I, the table, who brings them all together.

The computer says:

Whatever. Not even the table himself buys that b.s. about being "the heart of this home." Are you kidding me? These days the table is the parking spot for bookbags, junk mail and other assorted clutter. How often do these people cook? How often do they entertain, other than at major holidays? Never, that's how often!

In this house, I am the queen, the one everybody fights over, the doorway to a world of fun! I am discrete (I don't tell the lady about the places the man likes to visit), I am quite versatile, capable of producing the answers to kid's homework assignments, recipes for gourmet dishes (never mind that they don't use them), weather forecasts for the cities the man travels to on business, and songs for the teenage brat. I am so good even the TV is scared of me these days, ever since he saw the man watching a movie on my 21-inch flat screen monitor.

The TV says:

You're pathetic, computer. You know as well as I do that deep down SIZE MATTERS. They may watch a little video on you now and then. But when they get tired of squinting at your teeny tiny screen, they come back to where the real fun's at. Take that, you and your wimpy little monitor. :p

The toilet says:

Dudes, you are so naive. You can fight all you want over who is more important here, when push comes to shove these people can live without all of you. But I bet you all the toilet paper rolls in the world that they are not willing to go poop in an outhouse. Who's your daddy now?


  1. What a delightful and well written story, Ingrid - definitely a surprise ending - VERY creative. I loved it! :-)

  2. LOL I really love it! Very creative....and so true! :)

  3. Yep, very creative and true! Thanks for stopping by today!

  4. mine is never lonely,, as i converted her into my computer desk,, and i am sitting here all the time!!!!

  5. Nice perspectives! Arguing over the importance in the home..."Size does matter" cracks me up:)

    Really great piece!

  6. That was great! We always eat dinner together, but we have four computers to keep everyone happy!

  7. very funny at least to me because my mind goes off in a crazy tangent sometimes. I was thinking yes the table is the heart of the family, where people get together. The TV is the drug that numbs the brain. The computer is the mind where answers, questions and research takes place. the Toilet? Ah the toilet is the seat of the soul where all our greatest thoughts begin. where poetry is inspired and Fiction Friday does begin. LOL

  8. LOL, loved the ending. It all flows downhill in the end. :)



  9. Ha ha! Very, very true - my kitchen table is my pre-filing filing cabinet, but no-one can live without the toilet! Loved it.

  10. Great take on the prompt - fighting among the furnishings! The end was a total crack up.

  11. Yes, size matters. And the bigger the table the less likely it gets used for eating dinner -- it becomes the best place in the house for all the "stuff."

  12. ha ha. this is so funny. i enjoyed reading it. and the thoughts of the table, computer and tv are so true. but the toilet is right. you can live without all three but not him. ha ha. =)