Friday, March 14, 2008

Out of words

Every day I get these reports that show how many visitors and page views my blog gets. For a while now I have been watching my stats dwindle due to lack of posting and not participating in the weekly writing projects I frequently partook of in the past. I have never had much readers, but there was a time when I got between 30 and 45 readers daily. Nowadays I am lucky if I get 7 or 8. I am still not sure how I feel about it.

Yesterday I saw a goodbye post from somebody whose blog I used to love. She had not been active since December, and yesterday she wrote to say goodbye.

Ebb and flow. Peaks and valleys. Is that it? Am I stuck in the valley with nowhere to go? Is this a phase as I suspected before from looking at the previous year's trending? Or has blogging lost its appeal to me?

For years I have had an uneasy relationship with writing. When I was in college I was an avid writer. Then I lost the drive, the fire inside, and I have never been able to recover it. For years I chastised myself. I used to think I should be writing. I would ask myself, why am I not doing it? Am I lazy? Do I not have anything to say?

I don't consider myself a writer anymore, not in the literary sense. But I used to love blogging. And now I feel like the well is dry. Is this just a phase or have I run out of words? I really don't know. All I know is that my heart is not in it right now.

15 comments:

  1. Saludos Ingrid. Hay un ensayo de Luis Rafael Sánchez titulado ¿Por que escribe usted? que recomiendo que leas. Se encuentra en el libro No llores por nosotros Puerto Rico. A veces yo me hago la misma pregunta. ¿Por que escribir? ¿Por que escribir en un blog?

    La contestación de LRS quizás no te sorprende. El escribe porque tiene algo que decir.

    Yo escribo para conocerme mejor. El escribir es un proceso de investigación personal y no tan personal. Ponemos en perspectiva, en palabras, nuestros pensamientos. Nuestras ideas.

    Tu al igual que muchos otros tiene algo que contar. ¿Que es eso?

    Una sugerencia que copie de otro: establece una rutina de escritura que puedas mantener.

    Por mi parte me comprometo a escribir un post por semana. Nada mas y nada menos. Y a finales de año, me tomo un break, que anuncio en el blog, de un mes y a veces de un mes y medio, con la idea de cargar baterías, de darle tiempo a la musa para que haga su trabajo.

    Como dice una canción de Fiel a la Vega, no malgaste su talento (Las Flores de Emilio). Usted tiene fibra de escritora, siga adelante. Estaremos leyendo.

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  2. estas de suerte, encontre el ensayo en la web.

    aqui va el link: http://tinyurl.com/ynptna

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  3. Genial, Wilfredo. Muchísimas gracias for tus palabras y por el URL del ensayo. Lo voy a leer.

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  4. As your stats probably show, I've only ever been an occasional reader, and so often I have read things and avoided commenting because I've felt I have nothing to add to others' comments. I don't think I've ever visited and felt like I'd wasted my time here. I don't think you're capable of being dull.

    You are an excellent communicator, but at the end of the day blogging is the kind of thing that you should give up if it becomes a chore and not a pleasure. I think you mentioned once about people being "fickle", or going through phases or something...

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  5. I suppose only time will answer your question Ingrid.
    I'll be here no matter what.
    hugs!

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  6. well.... that kinda stinks....I really liked your blog. I hope you stick around.

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  7. I'm not sure I'll give it up, Meleah. it made me sad when Micki of My Rearview Mirror posted her goodbye. I only have this blog to keep in touch with many of my online friends. I just wish I was more enthusiastic about blogging. Could be I have too much on my plate lately.

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  8. i am from the school of thought that says... if it don't feel good don't do it... do what feels good.. make yourself happy... after all in the end.. you are all you've got...

    i enjoy reading you,, and i do so by way of reader ever time you post... but i'll be here ... you know where to find me....

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  9. Sometimes, you just have to step back and away to feel the pull of something.

    My blog started out as e-mail to my sisters. It seemed that I always owed them e-mail, so I decided to just blog. They check my blog every day, but have never commented.

    I mostly write in my blog what I would write in a journal if I had it. And sometimes, yeah...I would go years without writing in my journal.

    When thing become a chore, it is time for a break. I always keep a running list of people who comment on my blog and make sure to stop by theirs to reciprocate. Periodically, I check my blog list and if I haven't visited someone in a while, I will stop by and see how they are faring. But..you know...you have to WANT to be there or the whole thing loses it's point, yes?

    Good luck to you, no matter what you decide.

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  10. Quizás es que estás sobrecargada de trabajo o te exiges mucho. Me gustó la sugerencia de Wilfredo, un post semanal a lo mejor se te hace más fácil de mantener o como tú quieras y te permita el tiempo. Pero no dejes de escribir.

    ¡Adelante, Ingrid!

    Un abrazo,

    Enid

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  11. I know I was sad about Micki too...I met her about a year ago. But....I have *met* and *lost* a lot of bloggers over the last two years. It's weird how you become attached to people you 'dont know' ...

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  12. Gracias a Wilfredo por el enlace a este ensayo de Luis Rafael Sánchez. Ingrid, I have also struggled with my writing for a long time, and I felt really lonely because I really couldn't share what I wrote with anyone. I'm still a little shy (and superstitious) about letting anyone read my stuff...
    To me, like you say, writing is a way of finding sanity in a very insane, busy world; it's about finding that space of solitude we all need...
    Sigue escribiendo, porque lo haces muy bien. Y porque parece que ya es parte de tu vida...si eres como yo, nunca podrás dejar de escribir

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  13. I remember you saying how much you thought we were alike...and this posts confirms that for me. I see myself in this post...Maybe it will help if you write something away from the blog...Or just take & post some pictures...no writing, just visuals. Sometimes no words are needed.

    Take care, Ingrid.

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  14. Somegirl, it's proof of how blah my life has been lately that I had not used my camera in over a month. I may be having a general lack of inspiration. But today, thanks to Meleah tagging me for a meme, I took out my camera and took some pictures around the house.

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  15. I've noticed that my stats seem to pretty closely match how much I post. I've noticed my numbers drop off a little since I stopped posting as often on weekends, even though my weekend number were always lower than weekdays.

    I feel on and off tired of blogging -- sometimes I have to force myself to do it and sometimes I can't wait to get to it or stand to tear myself away.

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