Yes, my friends. It's time for a recurring feature on this blog. It's the Monday morning pity party!!!!
An ex-boss from one of my first jobs (back in college) found me on Facebook and tagged me on an old picture of the store staff. I absolutely loved that job and seeing the picture brought back good memories from a time before my father died and I made a mess of my life. The picture also reminded me of a good friend and coworker whom I lost track of after college. He was quite the brain, studying Physics in college and very much into Astronomy. Well, I looked him up on the Internet and it turns out he got his PhD in Astronomy, is quite an accomplished professional, artist and even appears on TV on a weekly astronomy segment.
I read about all his accomplishments with much pride. He was an awesome person and it is amazing to see how much he has succeeded in life. Good things come to those who work hard for what they want, and it is good to see that this proved true in his case.
At the same time, after reading his profile I can't help but feel like a loser (once again). I wondered how would I tell such a person the story of what I have done the last twenty years of my life without sounding like a screwup.
Um, yeah. I dropped out of graduate school three times (including two stints in law school). I spent my twenties in a haze of depression, unhappily married, working office jobs that did not require to push myself too hard in matters academic. Even today, after having some success in the business world, I still hesitate and am uncertain about pushing for more power/responsibility. I have been divorced. I gave up on my dream of writing after publishing a few mediocre stories. I keep a blog, but it is lame and I only have a handful of readers. I can't even get hate comments. I am lazy and fat and a bad mother.
God, I am hating this midlife crisis with a passion...