Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Sometimes I get stuck...

...in a loop and I can't seem to find my way out. Something is rumbling underneath the surface of my sane mind. I find this happens often when I am in a rush to meet a deadline, or juggling too many urgent things at once. A sense of dread, of impending doom, overcomes me. Left unchecked, it would paralyze me. But I always come through, always manage to deliver. At a price. I become a little unhinged, an emotional basket case. But because I can't afford to indulge, and because I do not want to show it, I turn it inward. Sometimes I listen to the same piece of music over and over. Sometimes I end up feeling like I am about to have a breakdown. The world becomes a sad, uninspiring place. My life becomes a parade of failures. Everything is dark and dire. Then it fades away. It is quite strange and unsettling.

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