My parents are coming to visit next week. I can't wait. I need a boost.
Once again I have withdrawal symptoms. I am on edge. I am becoming translucent, slowly fading. I am turning gray. I am becoming a blob.
In December it will be three years since I last visited Puerto Rico. Three freaking years. I miss it so much it hurts in my bones, yet I am so afraid of going back and finding that the gray comes with me, that the stain is indelible.
At what point should I stop kidding myself and admit that I am effectively gone for the long term? What is the cutoff date when it becomes painfully obvious that I can no longer consider myself an island Puerto Rican? Why do I insist of making such a clear cut distinction between islanders and statesiders, and why is it that it upsets me to think that at some point I'm going to have to move from one group to the other?