Dreaming of red rocks

Every time I feel in need of clarity or peace of mind, I like to think of Sedona and the red rocks. It is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen, and I want to share it with you.

Random Images

Today I wanted to share with you one of my favorite pictures from our Summer Road Trip. It is the church of San Miguel in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Built in 1610, this is supposed to be the oldest church in the United States.

Better times ahead

I'm feeling a lot better today. The biggest challenge is over. I am looking forward to a busy morning, and then my holiday break starts in the afternoon.

See, there's this pounding...

... inside my head. Blinding headache. It's the stress pushing out, or maybe the accumulation of all this crap that I have to process at work. I have so much to do it's impossible to keep up; there's all these deadlines converging this week, and it's unreal for me to meet them all. I depend on other people to be able to do what I need, and one of the key players just took off for his vacation yesterday. He could not care less we are not done yet, and there's money at stake in this. Of course, if it doesn't get done, I am the one who gets trashed.

I am severely stressed out. My memory is suffering. I am forgetting the smallest things, and sometimes I am forgetting key details from daily life. I am late buying presents, and I explode in fits of crying when Gabe complains that I am keeping everything/everyone on hold. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I just want for this week to be fucking over, I can't wait.

December 20th

I am back from Mexico today. It was such a short trip I don't feel like I was gone at all. Except for the crappy hotel bed and the fact that I had to use bottle water to brush my teeth.

I don't have much to say today, but I wanted to report I am safe and sound.

In the eye

It's Friday, and things feel a bit more serene. I was able to get through work yesterday, and I actually had a lot of fun at the party Gabe and I went to last night.

There is still a huge load of work to do. I am trying to work from home today so I do not have any distractions.

I am looking forward to the weekend, even if it means a monumental house cleanup project.

And now that I got that out of my system

I feel a lot better.

And Gabe rolls his eyes at me and calls me goofy

Because I got the song I quoted before stuck in my head and have been listening to it repeatedly. It's called Breathe Me, and it's beautiful, although a cold reading the lyrics makes me realize it describes a pathetic, sorta borderline person. I still love the song.

Got this song stuck in my head

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
I hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Enfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Enfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Enfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Trapped in a Billy Joel song

I took a "break" from blogging last week. I could not come up with anything, to be honest.

Don't ask for help

You're all alone

I feel the pressure at work mounting. First being sick, then being out for the holiday. Now I have a pile of work that is past due, and I can't figure out how to tackle it. And our reviews are due sometime now at the end of November. I haven't started mine, and I dread the interview with my boss.

But here you are in the ninth
Two men out and three men on
Nowhere to look but inside

Another day, another freakout.