Thursday, May 22, 2008

The cat's out of the bag

Well, it's done.

Yesterday afternoon Paula's friend came over to play with Paula and I asked them both to step outside so I could talk to them. I told B that Paula had told me what she confided on her because Paula was concerned about her. She started to cry, poor sweetheart. And she wasn't mad at Paula at all, quite the contrary.

What I saw in her was a mix of being scared about what is to come and being relieved, like a load had been lifted. I made sure to say several times to B that what was done to her was not her fault, that it was a horrible thing for this adult to take advantage of her like that. I also told her she needed to talk to her parents, and offered my support if she wanted someone to accompany her. Poor girl, her biggest concern was that she didn't want to cause problems. As she cried, I gave her a hug and told her she did nothing to deserve this, that her parents would want to know so they can get her help.

She wanted to talk to her mom alone, so I gave her space. She did take Paula with her, who stood in the wings outside her house in case B got too nervous. But she did it, she told her mom by herself.

About an hour and a half later, her stepdad came to see me and we talked for a bit. I think he may have wanted to see who I was and what was my take on the whole thing. I think he also wanted to make sure I was not some crazy flake planting weird ideas in his stepdaughter's head.

His concern was "why did she tell us this now?" It was shocking to him because he said the girl and her mom have a close relationship and her mom has always made clear to the girl that she can tell her anything, no matter what. My answer was that I had encouraged the little girl to talk to them after she had confided in my daughter; and that she had been hesitant to do so before, not wanting to cause problems.

I also said that although I had no way to know for sure if she was telling the truth, I had no reason not to trust her. She seemed very sincere and not someone making things up to get attention, and I had believed her.

We'll see what happens. I have faith that they will get to the bottom of this.


  1. Has hecho una labor encomiable con esta situación. Confiamos en que todo sea para bien.

    Un abrazo,


  2. You did the right thing, and I hope that for the little girl's sake her parents will let her speak with a professional who can help her process this and get beyond it (if that's possible). It breaks my heart to know there are people out there, so many, who can hurt a child this way.

  3. Thanks to both. I hope the healing process starts now for that little girl. She did not deserve this. No one does.

  4. OH I am so glad. It is so important that you showed her how much you cared and really made it clear that you believed her, and it wasn't her fault. You did great. I do hope that the healing can begin. the parents....will be struggling with all sorts of emotions. ugh....I'll be thinking of them.

  5. I'm so glad she was able to start talking about it and so glad you were there for her.