I took my first Xanax pill this morning. I was in tears because I had failed to set the alarm, which is really quite excessive if you think about it. Gabe was upset, but it's not like he was screaming at me or stomping around. Yet, I came undone. So this was as good a time as any to get over my fear of Xanax and just take a pill.
I feel wheels grinding to a halt in my head, but ever so gently. The chemical is persuading me to call down and I just might listen. Now I have to test if this will work. I will shower and go to the office today. My boss should be back from his trip, and although I am not sure he will actually be at the office (he often works from home himself), I am hoping he does. I need to talk to him about the key issues discussed on that conference call from Monday. I also need to tell him I may need a few days off, a mental health vacation. I do not know if I will have the courage to do this. We'll see.