Clutter

Ugh. I feel like my life is full of clutter.

My house is clutter central. I don't enjoy having so much crap lying around. Really. I have dreams of living in a minimalist environment. But there is all this... stuff. All over my house. Out of place. Books, toys toys and more toys, shoes, an overload of papers (letters, daycare daily reports, piles of school papers, catalogs, magazines, receipts, bills, important papers). Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have never been a housecleaning enthusiast (well, that's an understatement). I get easily overwhelmed, I don't know how or where to start, I am usually feeling too tired after work, I get discouraged easily, only looming deadlines move me to action, yada yada yada. Last time I cleaned in full force it was for Paula's birthday party. I was wiped out after that. I need to do some intensive cleaning this Sunday. I am dreading it already.

My mood today is unspecified anxious. I am not sure why. On the mommy board front, it seems like things are starting to get resolved. It's not over yet, but it looks like we are heading in the right direction. So my mood is not tied to the mommy board affair. For the first time in days I am not upset or bothered by that. Why the general feeling of dread, then? Not sure. Maybe it's biological reasons. Maybe it's work. There are deliverables that I wished we could have finished yesterday, but we could not. We have been pretty tight on money too, so it might be that too. Gabe was waiting on several clients to pay him, and I had to dip into my close to non-existent savings to pay two weeks of daycare. He finally got paid yesterday, so I may get my emergency fund back to normal levels.

Paula leaves for Puerto Rico Thursday of next week. I have to start getting her suitcase ready.