Tuesday

Gabe has started going back to the gym since Sunday. I think it's great. Sunday we all went to the YMCA. I took the girls to the outside family pool and he went to use the weights and the treadmill. Then he went again yesterday after work and did the treadmill again.

I am happy and very proud of him. I also am very conscious of the fact that my encouragement is helping him go. This is a tricky area because if I push too much, I get the opposite effect, so I have been careful to be gentle in my support.

As for me, I have not started going to the gym again yet. I lack the motivation. I am not happy with how I look, with how I feel. But I feel like it's an insurmountable task, to try to get in shape. I am hoping that Gabriel's example will help me get going. But I don't want to jeopardize his momemtum by suggesting we do things together. In fact, I have vehemently told him that he does not need to wait for me to be with him at the gym to get in shape. I don't want him to tie his effort to mine because I don't want to jeopardize his success.

I am sad this morning, for other reasons. I am disenchanted about something that was near and dear to me, something in which I have invested a good amount of time. It's like the end of a romance, when you take off the veil and see things from a different perspective.