It takes a lot of strength to break the powerful hold of circular thinking. Those of you that have been trapped in one of those loops of anguish and self-doubt know what I am talking about.
The last few days I have been battling the blues. I refuse to let them win, but I am not going to pretend it's not happening. My mood is rotten and I continue to feel like I am at the start of a rollercoaster ride that may or may not go off. When people ask me if I am OK I answer yes and I believe it. But I could certainly use a vacation, and I can't wait for my oldest daughter to be back home. Which will be a week from today, yay!
but I am not going to pretend it's not happening
ReplyDeleteI think that is so imperative.
One week until Paula gets home - hooray! I know you can hardly wait.
You can't deny how you feel. Believe me, I definitely know what it feels to be stuck where you are. I was caught in a seemingly never ending spiral of self-doubt and self-loathing for a long time before I started making some changes. I hope things get better. Take some time out for yourself!
ReplyDeletei feel you....wish i had something more productive to add...but you know i'm on the same boat. love & hugs
ReplyDeleteAhh yes, the mudslide when just can't find dry, safe ground. It is a real place for you at the moment, and not one to hide from, awareness is the first step to change. I am so glad that your daughter will be returning home soon. I remember how much I missed mine when she went to her dad's for the summer. It was horrible. Things don't feel right when our kids are scattered. Can you focus on making some fun surprise for her return? That should brighten your spirits a bit!
ReplyDeleteI always try to have some change in the house ready for when she comes back. This summer it's no exception. And we are talking about going to the beach that weekend, maybe driving down to Corpus Christi or South Padre Island. We'll see.
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